Bashing
by Snapple Broken
Summary: What happens when David and I RULE the FFX gang?Looks like a character bashing according to us!Please R&R!We won't update until we reach 5 reviews or above!Gays/Bi's please don't read, we have nothing against you people! WE REALLY HAVE NOTHING AGAINST U!
1. Part I: Tidus Gets A Beating^^

Authors' Note: If you're gay or bisexual please don't read it!

You have been warned! 

I have nothing against them but it part of the character bashing of Tidus.

And Tidus fans stay away from this!

You have now been officially warn.

And please flame me privately at: linktenshi@mail.com

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Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the game Final Fantasy X. Square Soft has the rights to that! If I had the rights to it would Tidus be in the plot? I DON'T THINK SO! IF I HAVE THE FREAKING RIGHTS TO THAT I WOULD REPLACE TIDUS WITH HANDSOME ummm…………………….. HANDSOME AND SMART SOME OTHER CHARACTER! :: -.- :: ::Gets hit with a mallet by her friend/co-writer/best friend, David:: Owwww……x_x… And I do not own Jaken from Inuyasha………Who would want to own him!??!?!?!?!? ::Gets hit with a mallet by David………..again::………………OWWW!!………x_x

Now yeah um…….now time for some bashing for Tidus!

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Annie: Gee….Tidus you are gay……….very…………::While I say that we see Tidus looking at a porn magazine………………………………......with pics of NAKED MEN! _::

Tidus: What did you just say?……..::Not noticing anything else around besides me, him, and his Gay Man Porno Magazine::

Wakka: Tidus you're pathetic you know that, ya?

Tidus: Huh? O.O

Lulu: I have never seen someone as thick headed as him before………….O.O………except 

Wakka, maybe.

Wakka: Huh? O.O

Yuna: I thought he was my husband to be! BUT! Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooo!!!! He has to be GAY!

Everyone: O.O at Yuna

Yuna: Hehehehehe……..h..e….he……….he……….. ::Laughs nervously::

Annie: Let's just give him the beating of his LIFE.

Everyone: YA!

Lulu: Yuna dear get your rod….and forget about Tidus……remember he's a homosexual.

Lulu: And I'll go get my doll with the mallet.

Wakka: Hey can I join in on the fun, ya? ::Holds up a VERY spiky ball::

Yuna: ::Hits Tidus with her rod thingy and screaming at him 'Why you! PLAYED ME!'::

Lulu: That's it dear hit him right there in the N**s!

Wakka: Ya Yuna! That's the way to go!

Rikku: GO ! GO! GO! GO! It's more fun than disassembling robots! I want to join in on the fun too! :: Takes her most powerful weapon which also inflicts every status ailment .:: 

Tidus: ::Suddenly regains consciousness:: OW!…WATCH IT!…..IT HURTS!…………OOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!

Yuna: ::Suddenly stops::

Tidus: Thank you Yuna! Now I did not PLAY YOU YUNA! Nor am I HOMOSEXUAL LULU! I want to make it clear that I am BISEXUAL!

Everyone: O.O

Wakka : What's your point, ya , we can still beat you! And I thought I said not to get any ideas about you and Lady Yuna, ya?

Lulu : *With aggravation* why doesn't he let his bones come out? :: The doll is stressed out because he can't pull Tiduss' leg bones out::

Everyone: ::Resumes beating up Tidus::

Wakka: ::Aims his spiky blitz ball at Tiduss' N**s:: SSSSSCCCCCCCOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!! :: The Blitz ball scoreboard lights up ::

Tidus: Daddy!………….::Covering his um yeah…..um………the place……where the you know is……::

Jecht: What the hell ?! Don't bring me into this!!

Everyone: O.O 

Annie: Whatever just continue!

Everyone: ::Resumes beating::

Yuna: ::Now hitting at every part of Tiduss' body with her rod:: TAKE THAT! AND THIS! AND THAT! YOU NO GOOD TWO SEX MAN!

David: Wait HOLD ON!!! 

Everyone: ::Looks at David, blink blink::

David: YOU SHOULD USE SOME MAGIC TOO!

Everyone: ::Nods heads, everyone then starts using brute and magical force as well::

Lulu: THUNDAGA!

David: Doublecast - Ultima! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Annie: ::Is please with the sight of how Tidus is beaten:: XD Just keep beating him people! You are being paid if you beat Tidus and how many lifetime injuries you give him!

Everyone: ::Works harder beating up Tidus::

Tidus: Oww!……Ohhhhh!……..WATCH IT!…………I GOT SQUARE ON MY SIDE!

Everyone: ::Stops beating him::

Me: NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T! ::Holds up the contract he and Square had and rips it right up before his eyes::

Everyone: YAY! ::Continues beating him with no care in the world::

Auron: Now hey hey! How can you have a character bashing and *ESPECIALLY* bashing Tidus without ME!?!??! THE KING OF BASHING! ::Drinks liquor while he says it::

Everyone: Sure Auron by all means join!

Auron: Now let's HEAT IT UP! 

Tidus: NO PLEASE AURON NO! FOR YEVONS' SAKE NO! DON'T JOIN THE INSANITY AURON NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!! ::Crying now:: DADDY HELP ME!

Auron: HAHAHAHAHA! NO USE NOW KID!

Lulu: Take this you no good double sexed man! FIRAGA!

Tidus: :: Being burned at his @$$, running around to cool his ass down:: HOT! HOT! HOT!

Wakka: Ya LULU! Now let me help! ::Uses Iceball on Tiduss' @$$::

Tidus: EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! COLD! COLD! COLD!

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tidus: It's not fun being tortured you know!

Wakka: We know, ya? But being paid just beating you was such a good offer to be passing up ya!

Lulu: I mean how else am I suppose to earn an *Honest* living.

Yuna: I needed a job to do over the summer and a job that pays well too!

Auron: Hey whatever buys my stash of liquor! ::Starts drinking from his liquor bottle again::

Annie: Hey Square hated you also, I just do what they wanted to do to you!

David: Your contract may have said u could sue but OUR contracts said we could BEAT little pansies....you fit the description for a pansy quite well.....   
  
Annie: Let us just get on with it!

Lulu: Yeah we should.

Yuna: No doubt about it! After he tried to be my boyfriend when he likes girls AND boys!

Wakka: Lets just get on with it, ya?

Auron: C'mon! TIME FOR MORE TIDUS BASHING!

Jecht: Just beat the crap outta my son! He isn't worth it to even *be* my son!

Tidus: DADDY! ::Tearing up:: HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?!??!?! I'm YOUR ONLY FAMILY!

Jecht: Awwwww c'mon look at you! All you're good for is crying! Cry cry CRY! Nothing like me at all! Pants that are one leg shorter than the other! I mean how fashion intolerant can you get?!?!?!?!? Nothing like what the son of Jecht is suppose to be!

Tidus: ::Crying while he says this:: I HATE YOU DADDY! I HATE ALL OF YOU!

Everyone: ::Stares at Tidus like this: O.O, then they all crack up laughing:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Annie: Tidus you're even more pathetic when you use the elementary way of fighting back! That is so like pre-k! What else can you do besides crying and 'I hate you's!?!?!?!

David: Wait a second .... Tidus is male......0.o.....I would have never guessed in a million...... 

Annie: Whatever just beat him up!

Everyone: ::Resumes beating him up again::

Annie: As the authoress of this fic I shall beat him up to! ::Takes out what looks like Jaken::

Tidus: NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOT THE GREEN THING! NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!

::Screams like a sissy::

Annie: Jaken, use your most horrible attack!

Jaken: Yes, Kikyou-sama! ::French kisses with Tidus::

Everyone [Including me and David]: UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! ::Everyone shields their eyes::

Yuna: Yuck that was nasty!

Jaken: How you like it Tidus dear?

Tidus: STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU………. YOU………….. YOU……………RAPIST! ::Cries::

Annie: Jaken go home!

Jaken: Yes Kikyou- sama! ::Disappears::

Annie: Should we torture him more?…………..Or just stop beating him up now?

Everyone: TORTURE HIM MORE! ::Resumes beating him up again::

::All of a sudden Kimahri comes through with a car::

Kimahri: Kimahri ronso. Ronso drive car. To kill Tidus and protect Lady Yuna! 

Everyone: O.O 

Yuna: Since when did you get a car Kimahri?

Kimahri: I don't know, ask the authors.

A/N: How did Kimahri get a car?……….O.O…………Even the author and co-writer doesn't know!

Tidus: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE???????? ::Runs around the um….torture….dome for Tidus, while Kimahri is chasing him with his car::   
  
A/N: How did Kimahri get a car?……….O.O…………Even the author and co-writer doesn't know!   
  
David: Oh wellz.....who cares as long as he feels PAIN! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Tidus: :: Now blushing :: Can u bring back that Jaken guy.... since he is male after all...please Kikyou-sama??   
  
Annie: ::Faints from shock::  
  
David: Ewwww! Gross! Tidus you really are a bisexual after all! Eeeeeewwwwwwww! ::Throws up::

Everyone: ::Stops stares looks then resumes torture::

Tidus: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE AGAIN???????? ::Runs around the um….torture….dome for Tidus, while Kimahri is chasing him with his car::

Kimahri: Kimahri have fun! ^_^

Tidus: Do I look like the only one not HAVING FUN HERE!?!??!?!? ::Is still being chased by Kimahri with his car:: WWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Wakka: ::All exhausted from beating him up with the blitz balls:: Do ya think this is tiring?

Lulu: You do have a point Wakka. ::Throws a thundaga spell to power up Kimahris' car even faster::

Tidus: LULU YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!

Kimahri: KIMAHRI GO VOOM VOOM!

Yuna: I guess it does…….. 

Auron: What the hell?!?!?!? ::Is high from all that liquor:: THE PARTY IS JUST GETTING STARTED! Bwahahahahahahaha!

Kimahri: Me fun! ^_^ ::Is having a joy ride chasing Tidus::

Rikku: Hey! I got an idea! 

Everyone else: What is it Rikku?

Rikku: We send him to a Ladies' Beauty Parlor!

Lulu: Hhhhhhhmmmmmmm….maybe this isn't such a bad idea Rikku………I mean his blonde hair and spikes are getting on my nerves……..

Wakka: For an Al Bhed Rikku your ideas aren't half bad at all! We should fix his punk wannabes spike hair after all, ya?!

Tidus: NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Anything but my hair!!!!!! And no this is not the punk wannabe hair style………..it's called the Wakka Wannabe hair style! Frankly I admire you Wakka dear!

Kimahri: Shut up! Kimahri mad at Tidus. He make Lady Yuna mad!

Yuna: I would enjoy very much to well……………….. Paint his nails!!

Everyone else: O.O…………Yes anything Yuna………..

Yuna: OH JOY! ^_^

Everyone else: O.O

Auron: Do you think we can…….hic………..change……his….hic……….hic……………….give him a ……..hic…….sex……hic…….change?………hic……… ::It is very obvious now that he is very very drunk::

Tidus: A SEX CHANGE ARE YOU NUTS!?!?!?! Wait………maybe it is for the best since I am bisexual………………

Everyone else: O.O

Annie: WHY IN YEVONS' NAME WOULD YOU GIVE TIDUS A SEX CHANGE?!?!!??!?!?!?!? ::Waps Auron with his sword:: AND WHY IN YEVONS' NAME ARE YOU BISEXUAL!??!?! ::Waps Tidus also::

Auron: X_X Oi………….. ::Is unconscious now::

Tidus: A sex change that sounds good…………………………….X_X

Annie: Let's just drag them there.

Everyone else: ::Nods head in agreement::

David: Man .... They're both wasted....Auron on his happy juice, and Tidus on his homosexuality…….

Annie: So true……………..but lets stop dillydallying and drag them to the beauty parlor.

: :So off they go dragging both Auron and Tidus while Lady Yuna skips happily and says to herself 'Must paint nails'::

David: You know something I've been dying to ask this to you Lulu.

Lulu: What?

David: Are those real?

Lulu and Annie: ::Gets smacked to death by Lulus' doll and followed by Annie with a frying pan the size of Asia ::

:: So off the gang go carrying Tidus the homo, Auron the drunk, and David the Perv.....::

Lulu: I get dibs on making over David first!

Annie: Me second!

David: X_X….…::Is knocked out cold and does not hear a word::…………………X_X

:: The gang finally arrives at the 70's Beauty Parlor they had planned to come in order to give Tidus his afro::

Co-Authors' Note: I don't know how or why they are able to find a 70s Parlor in Spira or how they got the directions but let's just continue….

A/N: How am I suppose to know?……………Does the authors' have to know everything?……….Sheesh…..

Woman Number 1: ::Snapping gum:: What do you kids want?

Yuna: May I have a aphrodisiac?

Lulu: You mean afro dear.

Yuna: Yeah, whatever, and one for him too. :: Holds Tidus's unconscious head up by the spiky hair::

Woman Number 2: Sure thing hun!

Woman Number 3: This way please!

Woman Number 4: Now what would you like dear? :: Looks at Wakka in confusment/amazement/awe/bewilderment ::

::She wonders how he does that to his own hair::

Head Woman of Parlor with biggest afro: Excuse me sir, ::Looking at Wakka::, what's your secret to holding your hair up like that?

Wakka: Hhhhhmmmmmmmmm...? What you talkin' about, ya? OH! You mean Hughbert? ::Points to giant hair sticking up ::

Wakka: It's easy all you have to do is.………..WELL THAT'S IT TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND THE ANSWERS TO THESE AMAZING QUESTIONS like; What's Wakkas' secret? How did Tiduss' new hair come out? What happened to me? Will I ever shut up? 

These and more to be answered in .....CHAPTER 2!………………..an Afros' Hope…..


	2. Craziness In The Beauty Parlor

Hello again! This is everybody'snotsofavortitehoppeduponcheezitzauthoress with her co-writer David….who is everybody'sfavoritehoppeduponmarijuanaco-author! And today we begin chapter 2! And this is sadly the end of Tiduss' bashing but there is more to come!^^ So ready and get set READ!  
  
But before we officially begin we will like to thank the people who reviewed our story!:  
Mewteos- Itz true I am hoppeduponcheezitz!  
Sage  
LilFoxGirl  
Inu-Baby  
Bianca  
And Yukira Chan!   
Thank you again!  
  
Disclaimer: This everybody'snotsofavortitehoppeduponcheezitzauthoress and who is everybody'sfavoritehoppeduponmarijuanaco-author do not own FFX yet! But we do in this alternate universe in um………..Blah Land somewhere. So in this world Square Soft owns it and in Blah Land we own it!^^  
  
So ready now? And read?……………….  
  
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Part II: An Afro's Hope  
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: So our story continues with our favorite Gotta-Go-Beat-Sin gang and we left the scene when Wakka was just about to explain to the leader of the 70's Beauty Parlor what to do in order to get the hair sticking up for hours to come and make it waterproof too ::  
  
Wakka: Ok! here we go, ya! Uuuummm....lemme see, uh....what were we talking about again, ya?   
  
Everyone : ::Sweat drops::  
  
Wakka: Hey you! do you know :: points to author and co-author ::   
  
Annie and Me: HOW DO WE KNOW YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH THE PLOT! WE JUST WRITE IT AS IT COMES! AND WE HAVE NAMES TOO YOU KNOW!   
  
Lulu: ::Sighs:: Sorry about that kids, you have to understand Wakka has the IQ of a soap dish and a attention span of a goldfish.  
  
Wakka : Huh? What you say Lu?  
  
Lulu:: ::Sighs:: Nothing Wakka. You were talking about how to make that "Super Duper Wakka Hair Gel Extreme Mach 5".  
  
Wakka: Hehe I made that name up myself, ya!  
  
Annie: I wondered why it sounded so "special" -.-, now I know why….  
  
Wakka: ::Glares at Annie for a while::  
  
::Wakka and Annie starts having a Staring Contest::  
  
Wakka: ::Eyes starts to water::  
  
Annie: ::Eyes stay normal cause she put eye drops on::  
  
David: ::Stares::  
  
Wakka: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! MY EYES! ::The eyes are red, watery, and itchy due to the hair on the floor combined with dust::  
  
Annie: ::Evil grin:: Give up?  
  
Wakka: ::Starts to cry:: NO! NEVER!  
  
Annie: Ok, suit yourself.  
  
Everyone else: ::Stare stare:: O.O  
  
Wakka: ::His pair of itchy, watery, and red eyes blink:: Darnnit! Now I have to buy lunch!  
  
Annie: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 300 wins and 0 loses! I am the QUEEN OF STARING CONTESTS!   
  
David: ::Waps Annie:: Get on with the fic!  
  
Annie: Ow….ow…..ow! YES SIR!  
  
::So anyways……….we get on with the fic!::  
  
:: We go back to the scene where everyone is getting their new hair dos while Wakka is putting the whole bottle of eye drops back into his eyes::  
  
Lulu: I really don't want a giant hair do.....it's already tiring enough just having to hold up my chest without falling…  
  
Woman Number 1: No prob sweetie!  
  
Woman Number 2: What would you like hon? ::Stares at the unconscious Tidus::  
  
Yuna: Uummm...I'll speak for him, he wants to get rid of all the spikes and blondeness. I know! Make him look like Diana Ross!  
  
Woman Number 2: Who?  
  
Yuna: Oh My F****** Yevon! Your the 70's woman aren't you suppose to know? If a person from a place called Spira can know who Diana Ross is you above all people should know as well? HMPH! ::Gets into a hissy fit::  
  
Wakka: ::Is still putting eyes drops back into his head from the intense show down with Annie::  
  
Annie: BWAHAHAHAHA! Wakka never will you triumph in a showdown with me you half dolt!  
  
Wakka: GGGGGGGRRRRRRR!!!!!  
  
Head Woman of the Beauty Parlor: As you were saying hon?..  
[Note: We'll just call her HWOTBP]  
  
Wakka: Oh yes back to the "Super Duper Wakka Hair Gel Extreme Mach 5".  
  
::So we go back to listening to Wakkas' "Super Duper Wakka Hair Gel Extreme Mach 5" and how to make it::  
  
Wakka: As I was saying the "Super Duper Wakka Hair Gel Extreme Mach 5" is a family secret, ya? I'm not suppose to tell anybody about this secret but since your asking why not, ya!  
  
Everyone: JUST GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Wakka: Ok ok don't get all fishy on me, ya! But promise you won't tell anyone!  
  
Everyone: YEAH YEAH! GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Wakka: The secret is is..........is.......  
  
Everyone: WHAT!!??!??!??!  
  
Wakka: Um yeah, the secret is super glue!  
  
Everyone: ::Sweat drops followed by a classic falling down::  
  
HWOTBP: Sir I can't accept this hair gel....it's made from glue! My customers want to be able to wash their hair and move it once in a while.....darn I thought we really had something here.......  
  
Wakka: Are you saying your quality is greater than my quantity?!  
  
HWOTBP: What does that have to do with anything...??  
  
Wakka: Huh…..?; OH! Sorry I meant are you saying that my product ain't good enough for you?!  
  
HWOTBP: Uumm......::Thinks to herself.....in a word yes.::............No....no sir not at all.....   
  
Wakka: Hhhhmmmm...OH OKAY!   
  
Lulu: ::Sighs::.....And I had to live in the same village with him ever since I was five....honestly his brother was nothing like him......Chappu actually had a brain.....yet Chappu wasn't smart enough to send his dumb brother to defeat Sin instead of himself.…::Sighs::....::Starts to sob out of pity and regret:: I guess it runs in the family....   
  
Wakka: What ya say Lu?   
  
Lulu: ::Sighs::....Nothing Wakka, nothing....   
  
::Back to the section where Yuna, Tidus, Auron, David, and Rikku are sitting::   
  
Rikku: Hey! What happened to Kimahri?   
  
Yuna: What do you mean Rikku? He went to get a perm....look he's over there.   
  
:: Both look at the ronso sitting in a chair getting a perm and deciding which color he should paint on his nails ::   
  
Kimahri: I would like "hot pink".   
  
Yuna and Rikku: ::Blink blink:: O.O  
  
Auron: ::Is still asleep from being drunk::……………x_X   
  
Tidus: ::Just waking up from his coma, he looks in a mirror:: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR?! ::SOUNDS OF CRYING AND SOBS CAN BE HEARD FROM THE BEAUTY PARLOR IN A 50 MILE RADIUS ALL AROUND SPIRA::   
  
Tidus: My blonde spikes....My blonde spikes.... ::He just keeps repeating that phrase over and over again......::  
  
Yuna: Look Tidus it ain't that bad after all it was all for the best!  
  
Tidus: LOOK AT ME! ::Points to his newly created afro:: THIS IS THE SIZE OF THAT SHOOPUF!  
  
Yuna: Good, then we can use your hair when we sleep!^^  
  
Tidus: ::Looks at Yuna with wide eyes:: O.O IS THERE NO GOD!??!?!??!  
  
Yuna: There is………..but he's not your savior! ::Knocks Tidus out cold so she can begin with painting his nails::  
  
Tidus: x_X….  
  
Yuna: Now what color out of all 789 different choices?……::Sees a wall with different types of nail polish displayed:: Hhhhhmmm…..ordinary colors are out…..::Goes up a ladder and throws down all 100 colors of ordinary shades and ends up hitting Tidus, who is still sound asleep::……..I hate Gothic colors…….::Throws out the colors that are dark dark, all 45 of them::…….I also hate any shade of green…….::Throws down 40 shades of green down::………Lets see yellow reminds him of his ugly blonde spikes………::Throws down 50 kinds if yellow including blonde, meanwhile every time she threw something down we hear the sounds of glass breaking::…..  
  
Tidus: x_X….  
  
Yuna: God………..this is harder than I thought…..  
  
::Meanwhile we go back to Rikku and Mr. Ronso here::  
  
Rikku: Gee………Kimahri don't you think "Hot pink" is a bit girly for you?  
  
Kimahri: Ronso think "Hot pink" just nice. Not girly.  
  
Rikku: Fine do what you want but hot pink is not the way to go.  
  
Kimahri: Maybe me go change……  
  
::Now we go back to Auron for a while::  
  
Auron: x_X………………………….O.O………..::Looks around, shrugs shoulder drinks some happy juice and then goes back to sleep::…………….X_X……….  
  
::Ok……….but alright::  
  
Annie: Hopefully everyone will notice that they are being paid for ACTING not SLEEPING! ::Points to Auron::  
  
Auron: O.O………..OH FOR YEVONS SAKE! ::Starts River dancing and doing a lot of acts like juggling…..playing with the Skip- It……………and last but not least the ever confusing and shocking Barneys' Theme Song….all the while David and I stare with our mouths open…::………X_X……..  
  
Annie and David: BRAVO!  
  
::Now back to Lady Yuna……..::  
  
Yuna: ::Mumbling to herself::…….No…….this will not do………Nope……….Nuh uh…….never……..hhhmmm……nah………mebe?………no……::All the while she throws bottle after bottles of nail polish and landing on top of Tidus::…….and they call themselves a Beauty Parlor…………………blah…………nope……no………..hhhhmmmm…..no……….where is it?!?!?!……..nope…..nah….eerrrr……..to pretty……….nope……::5 freaking godforsaken hours later……..::……………AHA!…..I found it! FINALLY THE PERFECT COLOR! ::Yunas' eyes are all red and maniacally from looking……::  
  
::Meanwhile everyone but Yuna are asleep using Tiduss' new hair style as a pillow::  
  
Yuna: ::Shrugs shoulders and sleeps too::  
  
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Morning  
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Yuna: Ahhhhh! ::Stretches:: SUCH A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP!  
  
Lulu: Never had I slept better!  
  
Wakka: Me too, ya!  
  
Auron: X_X  
  
Kimahri and Rikku: ::Still asleep::  
  
Tidus: ::Obviously Yuna did a very heavy job and he is still asleep:: x_X……  
  
Yuna: Now off to paint his nails!^^  
  
::So they off they go to their business::  
  
Annie and David: God……..they are crazy…..::Drinks some caffeine to get them going::  
  
Annie: So Yuna chose hot pink as the color and off she goes giving him a manicure……and maybe a pedicure…….  
  
Yuna: And to think it wasn't even in the color nail polish case.......when I got to the space for hot pink it was missing so I went off in search of the missing hot pink to see if it would fit as Tidus's new color...it was near where Kimahri was sitting yesterday.....damn to think I had to walk all the way over there......  
  
Co - Authors Note: Let's just let Yuna continue with her story to herself and let's continue with our main story. (Nobody has time to hear the complete version from her mouth, TRUST ME.)  
  
David: And all the while Tidus and Auron are oblivious to their surroundings…….  
  
Yuna: Must paint nails! Must paint nails! Must paint nails! Must paint nails! Must paint nails! Must paint nails! ::She chants 'Must paint nails!' while she paints Tiduss' nails:: Must paint nails! Must paint nails! Must paint nails! Must paint nails! Must paint nails!………..  
  
Rikku and Kimahri: ::Finally wakes-up………::  
  
Rikku: I'm hungry!  
  
Kimahri: Me too!  
  
Rikku: OK! THEN I'LL COOK MY FAMOUS 67 FLAVORED BREAKFAST SOUP!  
  
Kimahri: O.O?…..  
  
Rikku: Don't worry it's going to taste like heaven!  
  
(A/N: I saw this in Pokemon one day, Misty was making a soup and she kept adding ingredients to it…….)  
  
Rikku: ::Gathers ingredients:: Now for the ultimate soup! BWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kimahri: ::Stares stares:: O.O  
  
Rikku: Salt, sugar, lima beans, chicken, beef, plums, tomatoes, potatoes, humus [A/N:I don't know what that is but it sounds nasty..], noodles, blinis, butter, honey, maple syrup, nail polish, hairspray, water, pastaroni, tortellini, raviolis, thyme, basil, rabbit meat, carrots, celery, pepper, onion, garlic, rice, frosting, goya beans, paprika, cinnamon, cranberry, pork chops, wonton, flowers, nectar, bread, peanut butter, eggs, pears, peas, corn on the cob, gum, raspberry, blueberry, cheese, tofu, lettuce, orange zest, lemon zest, broccoli, asparagus, and last but not least saffron! Mix it all up!  
  
Kimahri: O.O  
  
Rikku: TA DA! BREAKFASTS DONE!  
  
::Everyone flogged to the table, but when they reached the table they saw the dish and cringed in fear::  
  
Rikku: DIG IN!  
  
Everyone except Rikku and Kimahri: Uuuummm……no thanks we're pretty much full!  
  
Rikku: You sure? It's delicious!  
  
Kimahri: Good!  
  
Everyone else: Yeah, itz ok.  
  
Rikku: Ok then!  
  
::While Rikku and Kimahri snack on their breakfast ......... The door to the Beauty Parlor blasts open.::  
  
HWOTBP: Oh! It's Maester Seymour! Girls hurry!   
  
:: A big commotion starts in the Beauty Parlor which, unfortunately gut's the gang's curiosity rising::  
  
Seymour: Hi everyone! Gimme the usual honey..........:: Sees the gang :: .......Uh oh! I.....uh……um……I….. uh mean ......…::Clears throat to put on big masculine voice and in between a sissy's voice:: .........I HAVE COME TO UM....UH...ERMM....ESCORT LADY YUNA TO ZANARKAND.....YEAH THAT'S IT! ^_^   
  
Yuna: Um....why thank you.....but how did you know we would be here....?   
  
Seymour: Oh! um...let's see.....Tromell told me! Yeah that's it!   
  
Yuna: Hhhhmmm........:: You can see that Seymour is very nervous and hopes Yuna won't find out he came to get a manicure, he starts sweating like MAD....which creates a very nasty smell since he is half human and half guado:: ........Hhhhmmm OKAY!   
  
Tidus: Pshhh…..::While he's talking he fluffs his afro::....Yeah, right Seymour, admit it you came to get pretty too.   
  
Seymour: .............I don't know what your talking about.....OKAY, OKAY! I admit it ...... I want to be pretty! Can you blame me?! ::Starts to sob::   
  
Tidus: In a word yes....but I do feel your pain....I mean look at me! ::Starts comforting each other after discovering a common interest and bond with each other::   
  
Yuna: Hey! Your're suppose to like me!   
  
Tidus and Seymour: Yeah whatever.....in your dreams maybe.....::start developing feelings for each other::   
  
:: Tidus and Seymour are seen running off together and in the background music of bliss and joy are playing while they are running together into the sunset::   
  
Everyone: ::Blink, Blink..…::   
  
Co - Authors Note: Ok! sorry about that scene folks but stay with us! I had to get rid of Tidus in this story, (At least this chapter), cause he was getting on my nerves! In other words I had to make it so that it would make sense......anyways! No more Tidus and Seymour for this chapter! Yay!   
  
Everyone: :::Cheers, then goes off doing what they were doing not even noticing that Tidus had left::  
  
Annie: Hey itz lunchtime!  
  
Lulu: By Yevon I didn't even notice amidst all this chivalry!  
  
Yuna: I'm HUNGRY!  
  
Rikku and Kimahri: ::They are so bloated from the soup they are to full to even speak::  
  
Wakka: Lunchtime, ya? Whose buying?  
  
Annie: Who else would it be?  
  
Wakka: Oh…………..right! I guess I forgot, ya?  
  
Auron: X_X  
  
David: Lunch? I'm in!  
  
Annie: Where we going to eat?  
  
Yuna: A place where they serve kids meals!  
  
David, Annie, Lulu, and Wakka: O.O  
  
Yuna: Hehehehehe……….  
  
Annie: Somewhere fancy…..  
  
Lulu: A diner………..::Thinking to herself: So I could earn a few gils::  
  
David: Anywhere that serves decent food! Not fish guts and intestines this time! ::Glares at Wakka::  
  
Wakka: Fine fine, I didn't realize you guys were that sensitive to fish guts last time, ya.  
  
~Flashback~  
Wakka: That was the best guts ya!  
  
Everyone else: ::Throws up like about 7 buckets worth::  
  
~End of Flashback~  
  
Wakka: Ya, those were the times……..  
  
Annie: So where are we gonna eat at?  
  
Wakka: How about the buffet?  
  
David: I just hope the food there are all decent!  
  
Lulu: Sure. ::I just hope there are men wanting to spend some gils on me…..::  
  
Annie: Ok.  
Yuna: KIDS MEALS!  
  
::We ignore Yuna, so off we go to the buffet 3 miles away::  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
At the Buffet  
-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Waiter: Hello, welcome to Spira Buffet how many and how many child[ren] please?  
  
Wakka: Four adults please and one child.  
  
Waiter: ::Looks at us weird but he goes on anyways:: Right this way please.  
  
Annie, David, Wakka, Lulu, and Yuna follows the waiter.  
  
Wakka: Ok go and eat!  
  
::Wakka figured that dining at the buffet might be the same as dining in McDonalds…..but no…….he was wrong::  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Annie: Now what may have gone wrong?…………….  
  
David: I'm not to sure ........ how did we go from killing Tidus to eating at a buffet?  
  
Annie: Who knows?......I think we wound away from the road around the beginning of Chapter Two…………….....  
  
David: Damn.....what should we do?? I mean we just can't leave them at the buffet...  
  
Annie: Or can we?  
  
David and Annie: Hmm.........  
  
::So off the two authors go ditching their own story to starts again, hopefully this time they'll stay on the yellow brick road::  
  
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Wakka: Hey! Where did everybody go? 


End file.
